|  Our
in-law in Taiwan will be buried this coming Sunday (November 4th,
2007). We loath the loss and will miss her. The August 11, 2003
picture above was our in-law holding in her bosom her 6-month-old
grandson, Kevin. Such image, such bond, between grandma and grandson,
will be repeated and reinforced many times over in the years to
come. Kevin, now aged 4 and a half, cried desperately when he
learned of his grandma's death. "I do not want Grandma to
go to heaven. I want Grandma to come back!" Click
here for the video clip.
Benevolent and kind, she was a traditional Chinese
lady in every sense, and she cared for everyone in the family
and around her. I was touched when I saw how she waited on her
husband during dinner. She put rice in the bowel, took the bowel
to the table, together with chopsticks and dishes. After he finished,
she ate the leftover from the bowel, and washed the bowel and
plates. That humble service used to be common in traditional China,
was long dead after 1949 on mainland China, but appears to be
still alive with Taiwanese women.
Prior to our visit to Taiwan this summer, she
had been confined to hospital undergoing chemotherapy. On the
day we arrived, she came to the airport to meet us. Her neighbor,
who owns a store close to our in-laws' kids' dress store, drove
a van and helped us load and unload our dozen pieces of luggage.
When we thanked him, he simply replied that he was just repaying,
in a small way, what our in-law had been doing for him and her
neighbors all over the years.
We heard about her graciousness and kindness again
soon, this time from the taxi driver who took us to Taipei and
back, as well as in many other rides. Over the years, the driver
said, our in-law always treated him kindly and generously.
But she was more than a devoted and gracious traditional
woman. She, not her husband, managed the kids' dress store all
the years, and pretty successfully. When it turned out that the
store front can earn more in renting it out than in keeping the
store open, our in-law still decided on keeping the store open,
so that her husband has people to talk to in the store everyday.
During our stay in Taiwan this summer, we were privileged to have
conversations with our in-laws. Fighting the disease and undergoing
chemotherapy is not only tough on the body, but is painful to
bear. However, she knew she needed to fight on bravely, not so
much for herself, but for others in the family.
So, here we remember her and celebrate her life
-- a great and gracious woman, a vigorous and vibrant life. |
十一月四日，星期天，我们的亲家母将在台湾下葬，一个活力四射的好人就这样走了。我们从大洋彼岸给她送行，并向远方的亲人们致意。上面这幅照片摄于二○○三年八月十一日，在海边。当时她和亲家一道来美国度假。她欣慰地笑着，紧紧裹抱着六个月大的小外孙庄恺恩。这样的场面--祖孙连心的场面，将在随后的几年中不断地重现和增强。现在，恺恩已经四岁半了。耗讯传来，他哭得很久，哭得很厉害。他爸爸安慰他，说阿婆去天堂，不会回来了。恺恩抽泣道：我不要阿婆去天堂，我要她回来。击打此处可以见到视频。
第一次见到亲家母给亲家盛饭，像是回到上个世纪三四十年代的电影里。她给他盛饭，还把菜和筷子一道端给他。然后，在他吃完后，她把剩饭剩菜吃掉，把碗也洗了。显然，中华民族传统的妇道，在大陆是破了，在台湾还活着。
今年夏天我们去台湾以前，亲家母本来在医院里接受辐射治疗。我们到时，她到机场来接，他的邻居还开一辆可以载六七个人连同十多件行李的小巴。行李够重的，这位邻居搬上搬下的，满头大汗。我们向他言谢，他说你们的亲家母多年来对我们很照顾，我们谢她还来不及呢。
接下去的几天，我们北上台北，南下高雄，一路的用车都是亲家母安排的。接送我们的的士司机，说我们的亲家母人好，店也开得不错。他说他几年来都蒙受我们亲家母的照应。
她病了以后，有人劝她把店面租出去，说这样租金比自己开店还多。她说，有开店，亲家多少有事干，有人说话。考虑他人多于考虑她自己，就如同她跟我们谈起自己的病。她说化疗实在很苦，生不如死。但为了亲人，应该坚持，只好坚持。
善良、贤惠、能干。亲家母，请您走好。 |
