Yesterday (12-2-2016), we were invited to the exhibition hall of Red Army's 1932 activities in hometown Zhangzhou and Shima. The exhibition was housed on the old campus of my Alma Mater: Longhai First High School where the building on which Red Army's slogans were painted on the walls is now named Red Army Building (pictured above). We took our 99-year-old mother, because our late father's photograph was on display in one of the exhibition rooms. Our late father joined the Party in 1932, went all the way in, and perished for the revolution in 1949.

That was 67 years ago. Memories have somewhat faded, and the pain that was so acute is now numb. But when the loss of a husband and father was fresh, when the backbone of the family collapsed, the grief and suffering dragged on every day and every step of the 67 years that ensued, and no one else but the surviving family knew its bottomless depth and its crippling weight. Sympathy was skin-deep, and glory (of being a martyr's family) was superficial.

In the same afternoon I took my mom to Zhangzhou to visit my friends from early 1960's, Dr. Yang and his wife. For the last two weeks, my mom often complained of pain on her knees and legs. After going through bone density test and MRI, it was determined that age and low bone density were to blame, and we just have to be careful that she does not trip and fall.

• Under Dad's Mausoleum
• Glorious Billboard

昨天（2016.12.2）我们应龙海市党史办之邀，去设于母校龙海一中的“红军楼”的展厅观看1932年间红军入漳的史迹。我们把妈妈也带去了，因为先父庄少萍就是在红军入漳时入党，从此走上了不归路，于1949年解放前夕就义，埋到了厦门虎园的烈士陵园里。

那是67年前的往事了。记忆略有模糊，痛感不复分明。但少妇失去丈夫，幼子失去父亲的孤苦、窘迫与悲惨，唯有一天天一步步走过来的当事人方知道。同情是乏力的，光荣是苍白的。

昨天下午，去漳州看望我50多年的老朋友秀兰和大杨。蒙杨院长亲自给妈妈看病，秀兰和儿媳一旁照应，爬上爬下，挪来挪去，做了“骨密度”和“磁共振“，知道妈妈近来膝盖和小腿的疼痛跟骨质稀松有关，乃“正常的”老人性体能退化。几番折腾，累坏了亲友和年近百岁的妈妈，但换来相对的心安。

• 爸爸的陵园
• “烈属光荣”牌
• 秀兰大杨