Accidents like "waking up to find oneself in the old society" are not likely to happen in America, despite the economic downturn and H1N1. Except in my dream, when I would come across familiar places, people and events, would fight for survival, and beg for favor--real life experience of our generation in those years. On waking up, I instantly recalled the friends who gave us help in those days. When we first moved in to one of the hostels in Xiamen University in 1981, we did not have any furniture. In our first trip from hometown Shima to Xiamen by boat, we took along a chair. a ladder and a bag of luggage. Upon unloading from the boat, I tied them onto one side of my bicycle, then seated our 10-year-old Hong on the top tube, with Li-qing holding our 7-year-old Wei on the back rack. I peddled all the way from the wharf to the campus, like circus in town. I was still young, though, and we could not afford a taxi anyway. That singular acrobatics was reflected in a poem I wrote thirteen years later. The rest of our furniture, though, were hauled for us by our friends, once by a hometown opera troupe visiting Xiamen from Shima, the other by another friend who borrowed a truck and brought
his own friends. Here is the poem written in 1993, after we bought our first home:

We were young, once upon a time
Not lacking in dreams and aspirations.
But no house, no means of transportation,
Not even residence registration.
Adversary
Taught us, and we moved on.
From Shima to Xiamen, on a single bicycle
Children and us, and luggage, and furniture.
Then the Pacific ocean came in between.
As children grew up, your hair turned gray.
Eventually you joined me here, one by one.
We have our home, our yard, and our cars.

Adversary does teach and make people stronger, like our being forced to go "up the mountains and down the countryside" in China forty years ago in 1969, and like our niece Shiyuan's willingly coming to the US to attend the high school here four month ago. I myself was not doing great in my elementary and secondary schools (but I did pretty well in college and above). Our niece was always the top of her class, even here, when she is receiving her senior courses all in English, among them American Government and Calculus. As far as English is concerned, Kevin, our 7-year-old grandson, speaks without any accent. Our 3-year-old Caleb must have picked up English from his brother and from TV. I could not help smiling when I heard him announcing "I am eating." Both Kevin and Caleb use remotes and iPod more adroitly than their grandma. They will never be subjected to "waking up to find oneself in the old society", not even in their dreams. The changes and improvement in China of the past twenty or thirty years are truly amazing. For the first time in 60 years, peace is dawning on the Taiwan Straits, where trade, communication and travel begin to flow between the two former hostile entities: mainland China (People's Republic of China) and Taiwan (Republic of China). Sixty years ago, Chinese Communists did drive Chinese Nationalists (Kuomintang, or KMT) to Taiwan, but who were the winners and losers? While history textbooks are almost always written by the people who won the war, history itself has an unbiased and authoritative author--the Time. People will always vote for prosperity and freedom. They will vote with their feet.

Sixty years ago I was only nine years old, so did not behold the events that engulfed civil war China. But for the last few months, I would spend about three hours each night pondering over those events. I am working on an English translation of a Chinese autobiography by a former KMT army general. It dates back to the last of Qing Dynasty, to the formative years of the Republic (of China). From traditional private classroom tutoring classic Chinese to modern-day military academy in Baoding, from Northern Expedition to Anti-Japanese War, and to the civil war between the Communists and Kuomintang, from a four-star army general to chairman/governor of a province. There are so many events, names and places that cannot be translated without knowing the context, the background. It's a meaningful job, but probably will not finish until after I retire in two years.

Our life is about as normal as normal can be under the circumstances. Our focus of attention, and love, is always with our grandchildren: two now, and a third early next year. That was why we were very reluctant to go on our European trip this summer, and why we were most pleased on the night we were about to fly home. Our 13-day, 7-country European tour did end without contingency or jubilation, but I was most touched when I heard and saw the Big Ben striking the hours during a night cruise on the River Thames. It brought back memories of my years in China when listening to BBC was my major means of learning English, and getting information. The striking of Big Ben on the hour preceding the news had resonated in me, giving me hope, dim as it was in that era.
With hope and help, with will and goodwill, we have come so far, and have survived. Thank you all for lending us your hand when we most need it. Thank you and Merry Christmas!

                                  Yannan (Thanksgiving 2009)

人在美国，即使遇到像今年这样经济萧条和猪流感，“一觉回到旧社会”的事也只在做梦时才有。这些梦往往是走过来的日子:似曾相识的地和人，似曾相识的遭遇，如觅住处，求方便。醒来以后，想到的就是在那些日子里给过我们帮助的人。我们初到厦大时没有任何家具。 1981年，我们坐船从石码老家运来一张小椅 子和一个竹梯。上码头以后，把它们绑到自行车上，自己从码头 蹬到厦大。然后是少全的芗剧团到厦门演出，替我们搬来一张高脚八仙桌。我去取八仙桌时，他还搭上两张戏票。最后，是吴鑫带人带车，专门从石码老家把属于我们的家具全部从陆路运到厦大，而且搬到位于二楼的我们在厦大芙蓉三的两间筒房。吴鑫带人带车来的时候我不在厦门。以后也不曾再见过面。但今天我很想再说声谢谢。对他，对少全，也对一路帮衬过我们的众多的好人们。

那次用自行车载家具时，车的前杆还坐着十岁的庄宏，后座还坐着妻子抱着八岁的庄伟。因此，十几年后来到美国有感而发，写了下面这首小诗：

曾何几时，我们也都年轻过，
也曾豪情满怀，壮志未酬。
然而居无屋，出无车，
人无户口。

逆境，
使我们清醒，逼我们长进。
一辆旧脚踏车，从石码到厦门，
载过我们一家四口，和行李，和家俱。

终于大洋远隔.....
头发渐白，因为孩子大了。
然后是签证的痛苦，接机的喜悦，
又有了家--自己的家，自己的园，自己的车。

所以，逆境当有逆境的好处。它能锻炼人，如同四十年前的上山下乡，如同四个月前来到美国洋插队的诗园侄女。今天他们几个中国同学聚餐，她已经可以当副厨了-- 都是来美后住到美国主人家后学的。 我读书时 小学中 学都是中下 (只是到读大学 时才不落人后)。诗园侄女可是一路登魁。 今天问她美国高中 课程怎样，她说都很容易的。你知道吗？她们可是全英语教学，包括“美国政府”政治课， 以及我从 未学过的微积分。说起英语，我 们全家口音最纯正的 当属不到七 岁，读小学一年 级的孙子恺恩。而不到三岁的恺乐，也早已从电 视和他哥哥那里学到许多英语。 那天吃饭时竟然听 到他自言自语在说 I am eating，不禁忍笑不俊。他挺喜欢看英 语动画。 操 纵起遥控器和 iPod，比他 奶奶还行。从诗园侄女起的这一代， 以及恺恩恺乐， 以及明年初庄伟麻纪子 给我们的第三个孙子，都不会“一觉回到旧社会”了。也不会做我们那辈人做的那种恶梦。他们的幸运，象征时代的进步，如同大陆近二三十年的巨变，如同两岸的通航。希望两岸的领导人和民众，真正把老百姓的福祉放在第一位。历史书虽然都是胜者撰写的，但最终却都得由时光老人来裁定。六十年前，共产党的确把国民党打到台湾去。但谁胜谁负的问题，还得等岁月来验证，还得看哪个地方的百姓过得富裕，过得有滋有味。龙应台的新书《大江大海一九四九》，代表了一种有意义的反思。

六十年前的事，我本来知道很少，因为我当时才八岁。但一段时间以来我天天下班后会花三个小时左右，把一个国民党将军的自传译成英语。自传从清末到民初，从私塾到保定军校，从北伐到抗日，到国共内战，从炮兵到陆军上将，从集团军总司令到省主席，一步步道来。自传的许多史实、人名、地名，需要查证，很花时间,看来得等我退休后才能完成。

退休应该是两年以后的事。目前生活大致如旧。我们的最爱仍然是我们的两个孙子。(到明年二月，再加第三个孙子。)长孙恺恩颇得家风，很疼弟弟。那一天全家陪他去波特兰学“中国功夫”。一个小时的功课结束后，老师奖给小朋友们糖果。恺恩原说不要，转身想到弟弟，连忙跑过来问恺乐。随即就带上弟弟乐乐颠颠地去找老师要，还知道让弟弟跟老师道谢。所以，当今年六月我们要去欧洲旅行时，我们最舍不得的就是两个小孙子。十三天去了七个欧洲国家，心情最舒畅还是回程的时候。当然，欧洲行是开了眼界，特别是在伦敦夜游泰姆士河听大本钟报点。Big Ben 大钟轰鸣时，我想起 BBC 英国广播公司的英 语广播。 在那封闭的 岁月，随同大本钟钟声传来的每小时 BBC 英语新闻，不 仅帮助我学英语， 更带来比较，带来启迪和希望。

三四十年前，希望的确是一种奢想。但有希望总比没希望好，有良知总比没良知好。我们不都是这样过来，而且越过越好吗？谨祝大家圣诞快乐新年愉快！

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